LEVEL UP: Create the Support System You Need to Thrive
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. – African proverb
In the Western world, we like to do things on our own. Who needs help? Anyone that wants to thrive requires support. Many of you are feeling overwhelmed and inefficient because you are trying to do everything yourself. You are not alone. When I started my journey as an entrepreneur years ago with my travel business, I was working around the clock and this affected my quality of life. I felt like the hamster on the wheel doing my best to get everything done. I was on the fast track to burnout. “We carry the weight of the world on our backs because we feel obligated…and, if we are honest, it’s intoxicating. We feel important and valuable when we feel irreplaceable’, said James Lenhoff, president at Wealthquest.
Support can come in many forms. You can have emotional support, logistical support, health support, organizational support, and so on. Consider the types of support you need today and in the future and put them into place.
How do you create a support system:
Look at all of the people you interact with on a daily basis. Make a list of all your connections, contacts, associates, friends….everyone. Go through your list and put a check next to every person that is supportive. Answer the following questions:
- Do I feel respected by this person?
- Do I trust this person?
- Does this person bring out my best qualities?
- Does this person allow me to feel good about myself?
- Do I leave interactions feeling positive?
It is okay if your support group starts off small, the focus is on the quality not the quantity. Remember, not everyone in your circle is in your corner, so be intentional when placing people into your support group.
You may say, ‘but, Adrian, I don’t like relying on others‘. I understand it might be difficult to ask for help. Consider the following questions if this is an obstacle for you in using your support system:
- When do I ask for help?
- In what situations have I asked for help in the past?
- When I ask for help, what am I feeling?
- What do I think will happen?
- Do I have negative or positive expectations?
Identify one situation you are dealing with in your life right now that you are overwhelmed with. Look through your list of supporters you made in this exercise, pick one person you can ask for assistance….then ASK.
Having support increases your possibilities in life:
- Look at past successes. Take inventory of all the times you’ve been successful in the past. What support did you have during those successes? Which people were most helpful to you? What support did you not have that would have been helpful?
- Do you have similar people in your life that can fill those same roles? Are other tools available that can support your efforts, such as an organizational calendar?
- Examine past failures. Now consider your significant failures. What support did you need, but lacked? Do you have people or other tools that can fulfill those roles? Avoid repeating your past mistakes by building the proper support systems.
- Project yourself into the future. Consider what you want to accomplish in the future. Consider your current challenges. What do you need to address the challenges you currently face and expect to face down the road? Think carefully and make a list.
- Research support groups. There is probably already a support group that exists that can help you. Whether you need support in your public speaking efforts, controlling your eating habits, dealing with a cancer diagnosis, or managing a troubled child, there are groups that can help.
- Expand your definition of a support group. If your dream is to become a public speaker, join an organization like Toastmasters. Even casual, recreational groups can be an important part of your support system.
- Find a mentor. The right mentor can be the most important part of your support system. The mentor has the experience to see the hidden potholes in the road ahead and help you navigate your way safely around them. She will generously provide applicable advice and help you celebrate your achievements. A great mentor won’t just help you with your challenges, she’ll help you to avoid them in the first place.
- Consider non-person support systems. It’s not just people that provide support. Your planning and organizational tools support your efforts, too. You could use an app such Todoist to manage your to-do list and calendar to keep you organized. Do you have any apps that help support you?
- What other tools do you need to ensure that you thrive? Do you need a meditation cushion? A pair of running shoes? A foreign language course?
- Go online. There’s at least as much online as there is offline. Find others with the same goals and spend some time in the communities that exist online. Remember that you can use Skype to speak face-to-face with someone on the other side of the world. It’s easy to find like-minded people on the internet. You can join Facebook groups where you can exchange ideas, find inspiration, and feel supported.
- Reach out to those who are already in your life. Most of the people you know are bored out of their minds. They’ll be thrilled to support you in your efforts and spend their time on something worthwhile. There’s no reason to be bashful. Be assertive and ask for the help you need.
The more support you have, the easier life can be. The more support you have, the bigger the goals you can accomplish. Examine your past and your suspected future and procure the support you need in order to thrive. Avoid the desire to take on the world by yourself. It’s unnecessary and creates additional obstacles. Go for it!
Leave in the comment section below your answers to the following questions:
- Do you have a support system?
- How did you create your support system?
Would you like to add me to your circle of support? Just scroll down to the links below and follow me.
-With your success in mind,
Adrian, the Confidence Coach
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